Ushuaïa ants and anxiety

10/10/2016

On my last day we woke up at 7am due to our friends arriving home, haha. The day before me and G had joked about shooting in the sunrise and since we were now up at 7am we thought, why not! We walked down to the near-empty beach and took some really great photos that I’ll post as soon as G has finished playing around with them (read: editing).
Later we had lunch nearby and got ready for Ants, a “pool” party at Ushuaïa. Now, I thought it was a pool party with lounges, pools (!) and different areas but oh no, it was basically a rave. Since I thought I’d be swimming I braided my hair.. dsc06898-copydsc06896-copyThe team!We entered the rave and it was pretty quiet to begin with so we chilled by the only pool they had – a kids one. I’ve learnt (at Ibiza) that I am genuinely not into this type of house music at all. I’ll happily listen to commercial house where I can sing along or lounge/chilled house, but this was on another level. It started getting busier and I thought early on that I wouldn’t enjoy myself but stayed put as everyone else was having a great time (mistake number 1). After a while it got super busy and an overwhelming anxiety kicked in out of nowhere and I felt claustrophobic. I didn’t say anything (mistake number 2). G asked if I wanted to go and eventually we did, by then I had stayed for about two hours. We struggled to walk through the crowds of drugged and drunk people and I struggled to breathe – also, being a quite petite person it only gets worse as everyone seems to be skyscrapers in comparison.
As soon as we got out I felt better but I wanted to cry so badly. We walked back to our apartment and as soon as I was inside I broke down crying. For the next couple of hours we spoke about how I felt, why I didn’t say I wanted to leave and a bunch of other things. Because everyone else was having a good time and we were such a big group I didn’t want to be the girlfriend who wanted to leave and be boring. Stupid reasoning, I know, and definitely a big lesson learnt.
My bestie Katie wrote to me about her friend and said.. she’s living by a new philosophy which is; if a situation or environment doesn’t serve her positively she will simply change it – guilt free! It comes down to listening to what you want and acting on it without worrying what other people think. It comes down to self love.
Katie said a lot of other awesome and beautiful things in her email that I re-read it every now and again to remind myself.
Anyway. After our little drama I touched up my makeup (thank god for waterproof mascara!) and changed – it was finally time to explore Old Town! More on that in the next post 🙂

Swimsuit from here

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