I started writing this post end of August and here I am, end of December, ready to publish it. I’ve re-written and changed it several times but the conversations I’ve had in the last two weeks just made me think f*ck it, let me just share this with you.
Sometimes we are taken into troubled water not to drown but to be cleansed
The above quote has been stuck with me for a good couple of months now. 2016 has been a year of many ups and downs in terms of my relationships with friends – male and female.
I’ve made and lost a lot of friends over the years – mainly because I’ve moved four different countries since I was 18, and let me tell you one thing: you truly learn who’s a real friend the moment you move country. I’d say I have a handful of friends in my hometown and Stockholm, one in Dubai, a few in the states and a few here in London. My circle is very small and changes all the time.
2016 though, has been a year of most change and it’s been really difficult but also necessary.
I’d like to think that I am known for being a kind person but also too kind. I’ve taken a lot of BS this year that many others (that I’ve discussed with) wouldn’t and I am tired of feeling anxious, stressed and like a bad friend. I’m not gaining anything from feeling that way.
Relationships changes all the time and sometimes the change is so big the love you thought you had for one person isn’t strong enough to fix it
I’ve had many long and deep conversations about friends who won’t grow with you, who won’t support your projects, who is only there when they need something, who’s holding you back and spreads bad energy. After a few events this autumn I said enough is enough. I want positive energy, I want excitement and honesty, I want to be around people who are motivated and driven to better themselves in their personal life and career and whatever it is they’re doing and I want to be there for them. It takes a minimal second to show someone support by simply sharing their instagram with someone, like, comment, buy a ticket to a friends event, show up and simply be there. It’s. Not. That. Hard.
I need to learn to accept change better, to know my worth (more on that in another rant-style post) and to prioritise people around me who makes me feel good – I wrote this in my first draft and have actually started implementing this in my everyday life and oh boy do I feel good?! Sure my panic attack was a surprise slap in the face but, ignoring that event, I’ve felt really good.
Life’s journey – people will come and go, relationships will be beautiful and awful, begin and break up. I’m forever grateful for the people I have met during “my journey” but also sad that I no longer speak to some of them, for whatever reason.
I will continue to work on the above throughout next year and here are a few things I want us all to focus on:
- Put yourself first and own your decisions
- Break up with friends/partners who doesn’t make you feel good. Surround yourself with people who see your value and remind you of it
- Say no more. Our generation and the word FOMO (fear of missing out) are lovers and just remember that you don’t have to attend every single event
- Open up. Don’t be scared to open up to friends/family with what you are going through. You’d be surprised how many can relate and are willing to help
- Use Social Media less. We are all addicted to our phones and apps and we (humans!) are the ones missing out. Instead of talking, meeting up and interacting we message, like and snapchat. Next time I’m out for dinner I’ll make sure everyone gets their foodie-pics and selfies but after that I want phones in the pockets, not even on the table.
- Be positive! Life’s so much better with a positive mindset